Legitimizing your relationship, you never know for sure that this particular marriage will be the last. Some couples are unlucky. Their stories are far from fairy tales, in the conclusion of which they say about the main characters: “And they lived happily ever after.” But still, such prospects are attractive, because people begin to search for a new love. But is it worth it to enter into a new relationship after a breakup?
Breakups are always stressful. Even despite the fact that for some it turns out to be salvation and a welcome event, while for others it is not easy. In the latter case, a whole variety of negative feelings arise: pain, despair, fear, resentment, jealousy, and so on. And to alleviate their suffering, people seek to find a new love.
Reasons why people are in a hurry to enter into a new relationship
- The desire to forget and drown out the pain;
- Fear of being alone;
- Realize the unfulfilled dream of a happy family;
- Forget the former;
- Make him jealous;
- to love again;
- Feel loved;
- Get rid of the thought of the return of the ex-lover.
Sometimes people meet the second half not only immediately after the breakup, but even before the dissolution of the marriage, for example, when the process turns out to be quite lengthy. During this time, relationships with new lovers can develop rapidly. Then especially decisive people have questions about the next marriage. But, unfortunately, sometimes such relationships can be called substitutive. What does it mean? Now let’s figure it out!
The purpose of this kind of connection is to cope with despair, loneliness, pain and fill the inner emptiness, and in some cases return to the former. But often such relationships are fleeting and do not end with a happy ending, because a person unconsciously builds them in the same way as the previous ones. So, he will again experience these negative emotions.
It is possible to determine substitution relations by a number of signs.
- You understand that you still have feelings for the former, but you try your best not to notice it.
- Compare new relationships with old ones and often remember them.
- Looking for the features of the previous one in the current gentleman.
- Constantly talk about the ex-lover or, conversely, categorically do not mention.
- Demonstrate new relationships.
- You do not want to spend time with the newly-minted chosen one.
- Feel hostility from close contact with a boyfriend or use it specifically for intimacy.
- Don’t treat him as a person.
- You have frequent mood swings, bouts of aggression that are directed at your current partner.
- Imagine making up with your ex and getting him back.
Break substitution relationships
If you yourself have noticed or determined, thanks to the above signs, that your new relationship is considered a substitute, the only solution is to leave. It is better to do it right away than to waste precious time, since you will not have other outcomes.
Avoid random connections
Wasting yourself on random people is not worth it. Such meetings will not make you happier and will not bring anything good.
Surely you have been in a pair for a long time and have not been alone with you for a long time. Relax, enjoy loneliness, understand yourself and put things in order in your head.
Accept the experience
After an unsuccessful union, hardly anyone wants a repeat of history. You should accept the situation, study the bad sides, find and analyze your mistakes, learn lessons.
take care of yourself
Find a hobby you love or do something you’ve been putting off for a long time and enjoy the process. Learn something new, for example, a foreign language, driving, in a word: improve. Buy a fitness membership, as sports are a great way to unload emotionally, and will also have a positive effect on health and figure. Plus, plunge into work, then no one will distract you and really achieve success, or go on a trip.
Think of friends, close relatives, with whom you constantly could not meet. Make new acquaintances, and only then allow a new man into your life.
Having met the right man, gradually learn more about each other: character traits, interests, goals, views, and so on. To immediately understand whether you are suitable for each other and then there were no unpleasant surprises. And most importantly – do not rush things.