Unfortunately, the topic of change is always relevant. And everyone has a different attitude towards it. Someone allows entertainment on the side, while others consider adultery a betrayal and file for divorce. Even a seemingly strong union, in which the partners went through fire, water and copper pipes, is not protected from infidelity. Moreover, not only men are prone to this, but also women to no lesser extent. Today, together with Passion.ru, we will figure out why the fair sex decides to cheat, what to do in such a situation and whether it is worth confessing to your loved one.
Why do women cheat?
Most women are monogamous by nature. But there are exceptions, which happen mainly due to serious problems in the relationship. However, unlike men, girls are rarely interested in sex for the sake of satisfying physiological needs, since emotional connection is much more important for them. Thus, she gets on the side what she lacks in a relationship.
- Not enough emotion. The storm of feelings, characteristic of the candy-bouquet period, sooner or later weakens. For the most part, having won a girl, men relax and stop caring for her, pay less attention, and practically do not make compliments. Then she ceases to feel special and important for her beloved, and a new boyfriend allows her to fill the gap.
Loneliness. In this case, it is not necessary to take into account delays at work, business meetings, business trips. Even physically being nearby, there is often a feeling that the partner is somewhere far away in his thoughts. Then, again due to lack of attention, we feel lonely. And communication on the side allows you to get the warmth that is lacking in a relationship.
Revenge. No matter how strange it may sound, some girls really decide to cheat in order to inflict pain on their partner that they themselves have experienced. Moreover, in this case, she definitely will not hide the fact of adultery for obvious reasons. She thinks that she will teach a man a lesson, cause jealousy and force him to reconsider his views on relationships.
Control. Some men are incredible owners. Because of this, they constantly put various restrictions on their partners, bother with regular calls with checks, demand reports on where and with whom they spent time. Those, in turn, dream of breaking out of the shackles of marriage and feeling at least a little freedom. One of the cardinal ways to “breathe fresh air” is closeness with a new gentleman, with whom he feels easy and free.
Obviously, if the betrayal is not due to a desire for revenge, the partner is unlikely to be notified of what happened or is happening so far. Therefore, the sudden secrecy of the girl will be the first wake-up call. After all, we are used to always telling our beloved about everything, even revealing the secrets of our friends. There are fewer conversations, she always carries her phone with her, superficially talks about how her day went? She has something to hide!
Further, problems in relationships are indicated by unreasonable irritability and the complete opposite of it – indifference . Everything is clear here. If a girl began to react sharply to the habits, actions, statements of her partner that she had previously tolerated, or, conversely, began to perceive them more loyally, there is reason for doubt.
However, like all sudden changes, changes in appearance also signal the emergence of new circumstances. Perhaps a man appeared on the horizon, whom she wants to attract. This category includes changing the style of clothing, hairstyles, going to the gym, beauty salons, and more.
Should you tell your partner about cheating?
When there was an intimate relationship with another man, you can’t return anything back. Some women begin to regret their act and puzzle over the question: what to do next? Someone decides to leave everything as it is and keep a secret, others prefer to confess. But it is difficult to predict in advance the reaction of a man to such unusual news, which means there is a risk that the relationship will end after this. Therefore, it is impossible to say for sure whether such secrets need to be revealed. To do this, we will discuss the positive and negative sides.
Pros of Recognition
- First of all, a person will throw off the heavy burden of a secret from his shoulders and, in a sense, clear his conscience.
- As they say, everything secret becomes clear. Does it make sense to delay recognition. Maybe later the secret will be revealed in circumstances that will cause more pain to the partner. For example, if someone else tells about it.
- In the case of revenge, betrayal was committed in order for the partner to recognize and experience the same negative feelings as the girl at one time.
- Some of the fair sex decide to cheat, and then admit it to a man in order to make him jealous. But this method is dangerous, because you can not get the desired result, but only destroy the relationship.
- If a woman realizes that she no longer has feelings for her husband and wants to leave for her lover, confession is one way to do this.
- The main disadvantage is the risk of separation. Sometimes betrayal happens by accident, out of stupidity and more like some kind of obsession. In this case, you certainly do not want to lose your family. But not everyone can forgive betrayal, in this regard, there is a high probability of a break in relations.
- In addition, revelations will hurt the partner and make him suffer. It is not at all pleasant to realize that your loved one was close to another.
- Trust will be undermined, even if he decides to forgive his beloved and save the union. Then the relationship will be spoiled, because harmony in a couple without trust is difficult to achieve.
- It happens that after the recognition of one partner, the secrets of the second are also revealed. He also decides to reveal all the cards and confess to treason. Who will be prepared for this turn of events?
- In a couple there is dependence on a man, for example, material. Therefore, a possible break is not allowed. And admitting to adultery increases the risk of divorce.
- Information can go beyond the couple and reach the inner circle. There is a risk that the reputation and attitude of friends or relatives towards the cheater will change.
How to confess
You can’t talk about such an event if you are on emotions and are very worried. It is important to first come to your senses, accept the situation, then choose the right moment when the man is not busy with anything, is in a normal mood and does not worry about any problems, and only then calmly confess.
You don’t have to try to justify yourself. Show that you realize your mistake and repent about what happened. And certainly do not blame him for this, allegedly he did not pay enough attention, avoided intimacy.
Don’t go into details. The partner does not need to know everything in detail. Do not talk about with whom, when and how much you cheated, even if he insists.
Whatever decision he makes, you must agree with him. Therefore, even if he decides to break up, begging for forgiveness is a bad idea.
Of course, when he tells a lie, which can further worsen the situation, it is permissible to object. In other cases, you can not argue with him and you should accept the blame.